Political Clouds

I came across this interesting concept at the An Unquiet Mind Blog. Just wanted to replicate some of that and include the BJP manifesto. Due acknowledgement to Mahendra for this idea. Below are word clouds representing the BJP and INC manifestos. The only words removed are "Indian National Congress", "BJP" and "Bharatiya Janata Party"

The BJP Cloud

The INC Cloud

UPDATE:
Mahendra's idea has unleashed a monster. I realized that Wordle could also do RSS feeds. So I took google's RSS news feeds on both the BJP and the INC and created word clouds on what the news was talking about them currently.. Some interesting notes:

1. Advani is bigger than Manmohan in the INC cloud. Lalu is even bigger than Advani.
2. Surprisingly neither "Gandhi" or "Rahul/Sonia/Priyanka" figure much prominently
3. The word "hindu" features in equal prominence in both clouds.
4. The word 'infrastructure' features quite prominently on the BJP cloud, but not at all on the Congress cloud

Here are the clouds:

The National Game of India – Politics!

I've been pondering this idea recently of an anti-model code of conduct for all politicians close to the elections. The EC has got it all wrong. It should be the other way around. About 2 months before the elections, the candidates should get a license to SAY anything they want and get away with it. It will save the EC a lot of work.

This doesn't seem feasible, hence do something yourself. Just assume that the politicians mean almost none of the crap that they've been saying and look at the events and statements again. Anyway nothing that politicians say during election time anyway is adhered to. A beautiful fictional world of drama and one-upmanship will reveal itself that rivals the best director's efforts in bollywood. Truly an amazing replacement until this stupid film folk/multiplex strike finishes. Here are a few episodes:

VARUN GANDHI

1. Varun Gandhi makes/allegedly makes a hate speech.
   
   1. BJP: Damn it! Now what do we do.. let's disassociate with that speech material
      
   2. Congress: HAHAHAHA! Now let's drive the stake in.. Let's keep referring to Varun Gandhi everywhere and portray the communal side of the NDA
      
2. Varun Gandhi files appeal
   
   1. BJP: Crap.. it's getting worse, they're throwing the kitchen sink at him. Claim the CD is doctored.. some sort of damage control.. What can we do? Hmmmmm..
      
   2. Congress/RJD/LJP: Push it.. This is where we get our muslim votes.. Let's send rollers, Priyanka, Rahul, the Geeta, etc.. everything at him
      
3. Varun Gandhi cancels appeal and gets arrested with much fanfare in Pilhibit
   
   1. Congress: Damn it!! Those wily b******s turned it around. Now the locals there will see him as a hero/martyr and he gets a lot of sympathy. God Damn it.. why didn't we think of this.
      
   2. BJP: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Two can play at this political game! Now everything you say in this matter will only help us!! Go Varun Go!! Now he comes out in a week or so on bail, and sweeps the local elections and this hate speech will be long forgotten.
      
   3. Mayawati: Hmm… Here's where I can get some of my Muslim votes. Bring out my NSA arrow.. Point and shoot…
      
4. Varun Gandhi has NSA slapped on
   
   1. BJP: Crap!! The NSA may keep in jail longer and may spoil our election. Damn it.. Why didn't we think of this. Damn you behenji.
      
   2. Congress: Crap!! The NSA is a bit harsh isn't it.. But we can't say that out loud, it'll be as if we're taking Varun's side.. Damn Mayawati has put us in a fix!! Let's just shut the hell up on this. If anyone asks… BJP and Mayawati have a secret pact and it's an elaborate game played by both
      
   3. Maywati: HEHEHEHEHE!! That threw them off balance.. But crap.. if the SC throws out NSA, I'll get slapped..Did I do that right?
      
5. And the story continues..
   
   1. Mayawati might have been better off if she hadn't slapped NSA, especially if the SC throws it out
      
   2. The Congress/RJD/LJP would have given less prominence to Varun Gandhi if they had condemned it and not brought it up everwhere. Now everyone in the country knows who Varun is.
      
   3. The BJP would have been better off if Varun hadn' t made that stupid speech in the first place
      

On Shoes, Tytler and Sikhs

1. Jagdish Tytler gets clean chit from CBI
   
   1. Congress: Lets give Jagdish Tytler and Sajjan Kumar tickets, why don't we have the CBI issue a clean chit before they file, that way they won't have the 1984 riots on their heads while campaigning.
      
   2. BJP: What? Clean chit, 20 days before the election.. Even Lalu isn't that stupid. Nobody will even care if the clean chit is true or not.. the timing is horrible.. Let's bring this up in every show. The mainstream media will play it down, but we have to bring it up.
      
2. Jarnail Singh throws a shoe at Chidambaram (Shoe misses)
   
   1. BJP: Hahahaha.. Some Sikh threw a shoe at Chiddu.. Call up the Akali Dal.. Make them offer him something.. Bring Sikh anger to the forefront.. Call that journalist a hero.
      
   2. Congress: Shit.. somebody threw a shoe.. And you know what the bigger problem is.. That journalist apologized already and everyone is saying he's a nice clean character. Damn it.. If it was someone with a NDA leaning and the shoe had actually hit it would have been better. We could have called it politically motivated and blamed BJP for doing cheap politics. The crappy part is this journalist is too clean to pin anything political on him. If we do anything of the sort, they'll come and kill us on that
      
3. Congress withdraws Tytler and Kumar's tickets
   
   1. BJP: HAHAHAHA! If they think it's over they have another think coming. They've brought up the Gujarat riots way too many times.. This is the first election after 1984 that the 1984 riots is going to become a major issue on.. Push guys Push.. If anyone says communal, tell them about 1984!!
      
   2. Congress: Damn it, we had to withdraw their tickets and now ppl are asking if the CBI report was not manipulated why did we not stick with the same candidates.. What a load of crap we're in. Whose brilliant idea was this CBI crap anyway?
      
4. And the story continues..
   
   1. The congress could've had it's pie and eaten it too if they'd just quietly fielded Jagdish Tytler and Sajjan Kumar. Nobody would've cared much. Their attempt to give them a clean chit before the polls just came back and bit them in the butt!!
      

On Amma, Karuna and Lanka

1. Amma makes a grand coalition in TN
   
   1. Amma: heheeh.. This time I'm going to kill Karuna!! Last time he wiped me out.. This time he's going down!! And I'm definitely in the government at the center. I'll just go with whoever is in the majority, a simple two way bet guaranteed to win..
      
   2. Karuna: Damn it! Amma's got some ppl on her side this time.. Stupid PMK also ran away after all we've done for them… We might get killed this time.. What do we do, what do we do?
      
2. Amma hunger strikes for SL Tamils
   
   1. Amma: Hehehe.. I get the tamil sympathy vote.. I was the first to do it, so I get it. If Karuna does anything now I just go and say that he really doesn't care and is just faking it. Moreover if he fasts for a day, he'll die!!
      
   2. Karuna: Damn it! She's getting more powerful everyday.. I need to come up with a response soon.
      
3. Vaikko says Prabhakaran's blood wil cause a bloodbath here:
   
   1. Amma: Damn that stupid man.. Why did I coalesce with him? Well doesn't really matter he was in both NDA and the UPA and said all of this at that time too.. Which central party can ask me about him.. I'll just put it back on them. I'm too good.
      
   2. Karuna: Damn it.. Amma did it for the Tamil Civilians, Vaikko will also get that few LTTE sympathizers.. I'm in deep shit.. I better make a statement soon.
      
4. Karuna says LTTE chief is his friend
   
   1. Amma: Damn it.. He said it too.. What happens if he gets some seats.. If the seats are split, my chances with the congress are less, because they'd have to dump DMK to get me and hence it would give them only a small gain.. I won't be able to play Kingmaker. What do I do? I know.. I'll taunt the Congress and Sonia.. If my taunts can get them to publicly dump the DMK, I'll have both the UPA and NDA options open and might get some extra votes here too.. Yup.. "HOW CAN SONIA, THE WIDOW OF RAJIV REMAIN SILENT"… "The Congress party must answer on its ally's position"… The BJP will anyway kill them for this unknowingly helping my cause to open a UPA window for me. God damn it I'm too smart for this polity
      
   2. Karuna: Shit.. Amma has begun to attack the Congress over me.. If I'm going to lose a few seats this election, my only hope of govt. is remaining with UPA.. After the Ram Setu stupid questions the NDA will never go with me. The UPA don't want to lose me since I'm pretty much the last of their allies. I need some damage control.. Here goes "We can never forgive the LTTE for Rajiv Gandhi's assassination" ..Damn it.. Hope that does it..
      
5. And the story continues.
   
   1. If Karuna had not remained so silent for so long, he would be much better off. Too little, too late is more dangerous than nothing at all
      
   2. The BJP unknowingly is attacking the Congress by hoping that they'll drop the DMK the last of their allies, but that opens the door for Amma's alliance with the UPA.. Something the BJP doesn't know about. Game theory is a bitch isn't it.!!
      

 

DISCLAIMER: I realize that in this article it may seem as I have trivialized real painful issues to people like the 1984 riots and the Tamil civilians issue. My intent is not to do so. I understand how painful these issues are, I am only attempting to utilize these issues as political statements in the shallow manner that they do. I sincerely apologize if I have hurt any sentiments.

 

 

Tigers and their prey!

It's a pleasure to read something you always independently believe to be true in a column. I have held the view for this election that nobody has a clue what's going to happen. The congress seems supremely confident, the BJP has a more cautioned confidence and all the regional parties already have their leaders measuring out their PM robes. There's one thing they keep forgetting. i.e. the people. The people of our great nation have become predictable only in one respect - their unpredictability.

What pleasure when you see one of your favourite columnists echo that view. Read the full article here.

I'll just leave you with his last paragraph, as usual a hit out of the park:

Never confuse the Indian voter’s temporary maun vrat with the silence of the lambs. This is the silence of tigers, as they pad noiselessly towards their quarry, shattering the air of the jungle only once, with a roar with the final leap towards the prey. When tigers feed only once in five years, the casualty rate can be terrifying.

Time to pick the help

Ladies and gentlemen, let me give you a quick recap of what has been happening around us in the recent past:

• The world faces one of the worst economic depressions in history. China has an appalling growth prediction of 8%, so you know it's true. The Free Market Economy is pretty much on its way up there to play cards with its old rival communism. The US and UK are nationalizing banks, trade protectionism is on the rise. And of course the Indian left is saying "Told you so, starving under Stalin was so much better than losing your job to these capitalist bourgeoise morons".
  
• The Taliban is a short midnight drive away from our country's borders. You know one of these days a Talib hothead is going to get a little bit too tipsy and decide and declare that Madhuri Dixit is Taliban property and Indians viewing movies of hers is an offence against the entire Islamic world. He's going to jump in his jeep and come to claim her. (I don't expect him to know that she stays in the US nowadays! Shhhh!! Nobody tell him)
  
• Terrorists have become more frequent that chaiwallas in our cities' streets. I have a feeling these terrorists really just are trying to find a way out of Pakistan, so they sell their souls to ISI and hope to come over shoot up some folks and blend into our crowd and never go back to Pakistan. I bet they do it for our saas-bahu serials.
  
• Personal Freedom guaranteed by the Constitution of India to all citizens of India (and any illegal immigrants) is at grave danger of being forgotten. Biharis driving taxis in Mumbai and Women drinking in pubs at Bangalore have a strange similarity. Absolutely everyone is offended by everything. I'm offended that Hrithik Roshan isn't overweight like me. His six-pack has offended us fat peoples' sentiments for years. It's time he puts on some weight.
  
• Our government departments' efficiency, honesty and integrity is very close to the point of no return. I'm pretty confident the whole Provident Fund organizations work can be done by a well written software which would take less than 3 months to develop. Their offices look like a fire hazard with bundles of paper as old as the swinging sixties and people as old as the Tense Thirties lying around. I'm pretty sure they took kharchapaani from their father to give him his pension!
  
• Our elephant economy image has eroded. The government has managed to neither implement good schemes for the poor nor make India a better place to do business. "We're pro-poor, so what if we couldn't make the poor any richer, we made the rich poorer didn't we? In a relative world, that's equivalent. We're not going to let rich people in their expensive Tata Nano's drive around our state. We prefer to be jobless than produce such luxury goods."
  
• The whole subcontinental region is ready to explode. Lanka is in the deepest strife since Big Daddy Ramachandra went over to whoop some Ravanass, Bangladesh is not quite sure how they had a mutiny, Nepal has a huge Maoist hangover (It's true what the elders say, never mix drinks. Monarchy and Maoism never goes well down or out), Swat has a system of law finally (and it's not too good for the ladies who want to shake a leg), I'm pretty sure Baluchistan already has a national flag, the Tribal provinces bordering Afghanistan are kept busy with their narcotics agriculture and American target practice and then there's Pakistan. I still think Pakistan is the happiest of the lot since they have a very talented clown for their President (Sigh – Only if Sarah Palin had won).
  
• Finally, our poor Mother Earth, who had been hoping all this global warming angst would help her out a bit, has no respite for some time now until all these problems humans create with their paper with presidents on them are solved. Cheers, wait a few years and Pune may have its own beach, and we can all go scuba diving to look at the lost city of Bombay.
  

Pretty historic times don't you think. And I was complaining that I was born in the wrong era, and nothing exciting ever happens any more. Oh, how I wish it were those good old boring times again. 'Ikkare nilkumbol akkare pacha'

Considering all these factors, I believe our future is going to be determined by the choices we make, the choices we make now. Let me say it now and say it aloud:

The next 3 months are going to decide our future once and for all. These general elections are going to be the single most historic, most important elections the republic of India has ever faced. The results of these elections will decide a government. That government will shape the future of India once and for all. It's that defining moment in India's history. Either we define the moment or the moment defines us. There is no looking back. This is the big leagues, this is the world cup, this is the final, this is the board exams, this is IT!

So I implore you to go out there and make your choice, because you will be held to it. An Al-Qaida prisoner once said:

"You claim to be a democracy, and as a democracy, you are responsible for your government's actions. So the government is equivalent to the people in a democracy"

Strange, how you can find truth in the weirdest of places. Let's make our choice, and not the choice of a few, not the choice of 50 odd percent, the choice of a billion people, and when we choose, the world shall watch because our government will decide our future and by relation the future of the world. So vote:

Vote so that people may call Barbers, Barbers in movies

Vote so that Biharis may drive taxis in any part of the republic of India

Vote so that women may drink in pubs

Vote so that Terrorism is prevented and not cured

Vote so that when push comes to shove, Indians have food to eat

Vote so that a poor man may receive his pension on time

Vote so that the poor and the rich may get richer

Vote so that we may watch Madhuriji's movies forever

Vote so that we may multiply our Olympian medal winners

Vote so that Puneites have to drive 3 hours for a beach

Vote so that Hrithik may remain the 'Ken' figure that he is

Vote so that fishermen may go out to sea without fearing their throats being cut

Vote so that I may have a coffee with my grandson at the Taj in Mumbai look at the Gateway of India and tell him:

"Jab jab desh par vinaash, asatya aur aneeti ka parinda mandraaya hai,

Tab tab ek junoon humaare desh ki janta mein punarjanamit hua hai,

Hum jo bhi hai humaari janta hai,

Aur hum jo bhi nahi hai humaari junta hi hai"

 

Five states vote!

The numbers are in!

Delhi

It seems to be a pure progress vote bank. One off stupid statements by Sheila Dixit and the terror strikes in Mumbai doesn't seem to have fazed the Delhi public to overlook her work on progress in the last 10 odd years. A slight dent in their majority may eventually emerge, but will not be enough to worry the congress. I'm guessing the face of smooth Sheila did it for the Congress in the end as compared to where-did-he-fall-out-of V.K. Malhotra. So Delhi's votebanks seem to have voted as if they were voting in a mayor of the city rather than the CM of a state. It seems very local and purely related to a visible developmental performance.

Post-mortem analysis:

V.K. Malhotra should have made more local developmental promises rather than beat the national security and project the centre's inefficacy on Sheila. Delhi seems to be a local public when it comes to state elections. I however doubt whether they'll think the same way when it comes to the LS polls. Delhi being a majority urban centre I'm guessing their public have enough understanding to keep the National issues separate from the regional issues. LS polls will be able to confirm this.

Madhya Pradesh

Looks like this one goes back to the BJP. Old hindutva links and Shivraj Singh Chouhan's developmental plank seems to have worked. BJP will be happy to have retained an incumbent state. MP is also an important state for the LS polls and a strong showing will give them confidence. Not much going for the Congress in 'Hindustan ka dil'

Post-mortem analysis:

Congress needs to really invest in someone special and some really strong issues to dent the BJP here.

Rajasthan

It looks like Rajasthan is confused again. Vasundhara Raje's bumbling mess of a government has probably got what it deserved. Central inefficacy wasn't a good enough reason for the people of Rajasthan to think of choosing Raje again. She's got the boot. However, I must say it wasn't as big a boot as everyone expected it to be. It's not crystal clear as I write yet, but suffice to say that Rajasthan chose the anti-incumbent against the royal. But it seems Ashok Gehlot wasn't all but forgotten, else the defeat would've been a rout. Choose the lesser of two weevils!

Post-mortem analysis:

When you get power – do more than buy BMW's and choppers and if you do, ensure that is heard more than the blades of your chopper. Local development factors here too.

Chattisgarh

Raman Singh's developmental plank seems to have worked. Even though large areas of the state is still widely tribal forest land, it's no simple task to be in the top 5 states in the country to do business in. Add on top of that the stupidity of the Congress with Salwa Julum, I'm not surprised. Overall, well done Raman Singh but your developmental effects aren't reaching all corners of your state, or you would have improved your lead from last time.

Post-mortem analysis:

Local development seems to factor here too in the State elections. Congress can only hope their existing MLAs can do something in terms of development that is big enough to reverberate in the other constituencies.

Mizoram

A whitewash by the Congress. Largest ever majority by any party in this state. I'm beginning to wonder whether Rahul Gandhi was really effective. I always thought he was a waste of food, drink, petrol, newspaper ink and Video camera memory!

Post-mortem analysis:

No Idea.